Chennai has worn me down with it's dirt, stench, noise and traffic. It takes a lot of effort just to walk down the street. With few tourists, the locals are not used to seeing white people, and as a white girl walking alone everywhere, they can't help but stare. There are many different kinds of stares, and I don't mind most of them. Stares from women can contain friendly curiosity, admiration, awe, respect. Sometimes I think they're imagining what life is like where I'm from, or feel their thirst for women's lib or the desire to have the freedom to wear what I'm wearing. I have yet to see an Indian woman dressed in Western-style clothing (think
jeans and a teeshirt, not
cowgirl boots). Sometimes I can stare back, smile, and it's all very friendly.
Some stares, are mean spirited or aggressive, and I've seen several of those. Although the minority, they are more memorable, and make for an interesting story. I had a man stare and follow me from the commuter train station down to the street, talking to me in English I was not able to understand. I yelled at him in French, to "degage" and leave me alone. He was harmless, but saying "please don't follow me", which I say several times daily, sometimes just doesn't cut it. One guy struck up a friendly conversation while walking the same way, but when he asked me how I like India, I listed several positive things, but couldn't help but ask "Why is it so dirty? Why is there so much garbage in the street? Why are there cows all over the place in the city?". He became very agitated and fired up. He was eager to have a healthy discussion, to explain why his city is so dirty and it's not his fault, but was incapable of staying calm. I went to my quiet internet cafe, so he would have to leave me alone, but not before another young strange man grabbed my leg and my hip, in the street, in broad day light. I made a little scene, yelling "Don't do that!", attracting attention from several onlookers, including women. He didn't seem to mind, and took two steps towards a wall and began urinating. Men urinate everywhere in Chennai. It stinks like pee everywhere. There are no public toilets and I can't find any better way to understand why it's like this other than "they just don't care". I'm reading a book called "The Idea of India", that I found in a shop in Kolkata, in an attempt to better understand India, and keep the benefit of the doubt alive. It says that one of the byproducts of the caste system (jati and varna) is that it "deflects responsibility for social outcomes away from human individuals... impossible to assign blame for social wrongs". The concept of "community clean up" or Big Event is not part of the DNA. I've been wondering if a public urination citation would be viable here, and something that would fund free public toilet. Maybe the police are corrupt, so if they had that, they would just keep the money, or not make any of the peers pay. Many men who pee in public have no money or no link to civilized society (address, driving permit), but certainly some would be able to pay the fine and there would be means of tracking them down to get it. Citations for unnecessary car horn honking would be great, too. I'm always trying to think of ways to improve the situation. I wonder what are the Chennai urban planners doing? Does the city have any urban planner? Maybe they have bigger fish to fry than public urination and honking. Certainly homelessness, hunger, childcare and education would be higher priorities.
I've also noticed, since women are mostly at home and I interact with so few of them, that my interactions with men are more frequent, and interesting when they are sour: As a single, white female traveling alone, over age 30 and unmarried, I buck the idea of woman in their world. They can't get their head around why I'm alone, what I'm doing, why I'm here, how I have my own money. Some men have no choice but to interact with me when I pay for a hotel room or I order food. In some cases, I make them so uncomfortable, they just want me to leave. The hotel manager this morning refused to give me my key deposit back. He said I checked in too early on Monday, and that counted as an extra day. It seemed like he just didn't want me to be there and felt he deserved extra money from me. The nice internet cafe manager couldn't sell me internet this morning because of a power outage. He was incapable of brief chit chat, he wanted me to leave and come back later. He could handle our interaction on a business level, but not casually. Waiters will bring me the check before I'm done eating, before I'm done ordering additional bread and another 7-up, when they never bring the check to others unless they ask for it, and have been finished eating for some time. Many waiters are so awkward, it seems like they've never served a white woman, or a solo woman before. I don't understand why serving me is so different from serving a dude. Some men assume I need help, attempt to help me in some way, and when they see I don't need any help, reject my company and behave in ways that make me want to go away.
Chennai is tough. It kicked my ass the first day. I wasn't able to find food or feel safe walking down the chaotic street. I kicked it back, however, and have found everything I need, and can manage different kinds of interactions with men who don't know what to do when they see me.
I'm ready to blow this dusty popsicle stand. Let's go swimming!
Chennai has worn me down with it's dirt, stench, noise and traffic. It takes a lot of effort just to walk down the street. With few tourists, the locals are not used to seeing white people, and as a white girl walking alone everywhere, they can't help but stare. There are many different kinds of stares, and I don't mind most of them. Stares from women can contain friendly curiosity, admiration, awe, respect. Sometimes I think they're imagining what life is like where I'm from, or feel their thirst for women's lib or the desire to have the freedom to wear what I'm wearing. I have yet to see an Indian woman dressed in Western-style clothing (think jeans and a teeshirt, not cowgirl boots). Sometimes I can stare back, smile, and it's all very friendly.
Some stares, are mean spirited or aggressive, and I've seen several of those. Although the minority, they are more memorable, and make for an interesting story. I had a man stare and follow me from the commuter train station down to the street, talking to me in English I was not able to understand. I yelled at him in French, to "degage" and leave me alone. He was harmless, but saying "please don't follow me", which I say several times daily, sometimes just doesn't cut it. One guy struck up a friendly conversation while walking the same way, but when he asked me how I like India, I listed several positive things, but couldn't help but ask "Why is it so dirty? Why is there so much garbage in the street? Why are there cows all over the place in the city?". He became very agitated and fired up. He was eager to have a healthy discussion, to explain why his city is so dirty and it's not his fault, but was incapable of staying calm. I went to my quiet internet cafe, so he would have to leave me alone, but not before another young strange man grabbed my leg and my hip, in the street, in broad day light. I made a little scene, yelling "Don't do that!", attracting attention from several onlookers, including women. He didn't seem to mind, and took two steps towards a wall and began urinating. Men urinate everywhere in Chennai. It stinks like pee everywhere. There are no public toilets and I can't find any better way to understand why it's like this other than "they just don't care". I'm reading a book called "The Idea of India", that I found in a shop in Kolkata, in an attempt to better understand India, and keep the benefit of the doubt alive. It says that one of the byproducts of the caste system (jati and varna) is that it "deflects responsibility for social outcomes away from human individuals... impossible to assign blame for social wrongs". The concept of "community clean up" or Big Event is not part of the DNA. I've been wondering if a public urination citation would be viable here, and something that would fund free public toilet. Maybe the police are corrupt, so if they had that, they would just keep the money, or not make any of the peers pay. Many men who pee in public have no money or no link to civilized society (address, driving permit), but certainly some would be able to pay the fine and there would be means of tracking them down to get it. Citations for unnecessary car horn honking would be great, too. I'm always trying to think of ways to improve the situation. I wonder what are the Chennai urban planners doing? Does the city have any urban planner? Maybe they have bigger fish to fry than public urination and honking. Certainly homelessness, hunger, childcare and education would be higher priorities.
I've also noticed, since women are mostly at home and I interact with so few of them, that my interactions with men are more frequent, and interesting when they are sour: As a single, white female traveling alone, over age 30 and unmarried, I buck the idea of woman in their world. They can't get their head around why I'm alone, what I'm doing, why I'm here, how I have my own money. Some men have no choice but to interact with me when I pay for a hotel room or I order food. In some cases, I make them so uncomfortable, they just want me to leave. The hotel manager this morning refused to give me my key deposit back. He said I checked in too early on Monday, and that counted as an extra day. It seemed like he just didn't want me to be there and felt he deserved extra money from me. The nice internet cafe manager couldn't sell me internet this morning because of a power outage. He was incapable of brief chit chat, he wanted me to leave and come back later. He could handle our interaction on a business level, but not casually. Waiters will bring me the check before I'm done eating, before I'm done ordering additional bread and another 7-up, when they never bring the check to others unless they ask for it, and have been finished eating for some time. Many waiters are so awkward, it seems like they've never served a white woman, or a solo woman before. I don't understand why serving me is so different from serving a dude. Some men assume I need help, attempt to help me in some way, and when they see I don't need any help, reject my company and behave in ways that make me want to go away.
Chennai is tough. It kicked my ass the first day. I wasn't able to find food or feel safe walking down the chaotic street. I kicked it back, however, and have found everything I need, and can manage different kinds of interactions with men who don't know what to do when they see me.
I'm ready to blow this dusty popsicle stand. Let's go swimming!
Hello klarena
ReplyDeletegot your post card!!! u are a brazen, brave, kiss ass woman. miss u tons!
I totally agree with your experience of Chennai - it was the stinkiest, dirtiest, most chaotic and falling-apart place I have ever visited! Infrastructure-wise it is an utter disaster. Piles of garbage everywhere, people using the place as an open toilet (and not just peeing..), amazing number and variety of animals (goats, dogs, cows, water buffalo, horse!). And it was challenging and uncomfortable to navigate, though we basically managed to somehow get where we wanted by auto-rickshaw. ('auto, madam? auto, madam?'). :-) I remember walking into the train station there and thinking that it smelt like a farmyard. I know you're not in the area any more but there were a couple of more pleasant places further south, especially Pondicherry :-)
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